Welcome to My Life II

At a sports meeting:

Me: Well, I guess we should talk about our abortion of a basketball team.

Silence from MA and DK. Laughter from DR.

MA: Uhh... Did you mean "abomination"?

Me: Nope. I meant abortion.

DK: Well, what kind of abortion is this? Clinical or back-alley?

*****

JL recently got a buzz-cut. The general reaction to this is that everyone he knows now wants to rub his hair.

JL walks into classroom, sits down. CS immediately rubs his head.

JL: Aah! What was that!

CS: Ugh, it's sweaty!

Me: Can't you see? Look at him, of course it's sweaty!

JL: Wait, so you mean if my hair's sweaty you won't touch it? I'll just have to be sweaty all the time then.

Me: That's disgusting! Who wants to be sweaty all the time?

JL: Well, maybe I'll just spray my head with water. That way you'll never know!

CS: Well, then I'll just get a towel! I'll create a machine that will perpetually rub your head and call it "JL's Head-Rubber!"

Me: "JL's Head-Rubber"? You might just want to rename that...

*****

At a meeting...

MM: So is there anything else to bring up?

JS: Oh, I have a little thing. Most of the room starts to giggle. Oh, well, maybe it's not that little. Louder giggles. Wait - oh I wasn't even talking about that! That's not small either.

*****

EE: I would eat a lot of things donated to Goodwill. Oranges? Not so much.