My inner dialogue today

The following is a transcription of my inner dialogue.

What? Oh. Hello, there, Unnecessary Paranoia. How are you? Yes, yes, all that about everyone out to get me, yes, I understand. Me? I was doing quite fine until you showed up, actually getting quite a bit of packing done. What are you here about again? Oh right, the unanswered text message. I'm sure everything's fine, he probably saw it too late to respond... No, I'm pretty sure he's not cheating on me... uh huh, uh huh, yeah I really don't want to deal with this nonsense, I don't believe any of it. Oh, you saw a cryptic Facebook post? I mean, really, a Facebook post is your evidence, it could mean absolutely anything. What the... you think he's in jail?! How the hell did you infer that? Have you been talking to Imagination again?

*The sound of screaming breaks through the air.*

Oh crap, there goes Uncontrollable Panic. You see what you've done? Yeah, now I have to go calm her down... oh, please, it's not my fault she's run rampant these past few weeks, that's external circumstances that have got her on edge. Control it? She's called "Uncontrollable Panic" for a reason. Dammit, how the hell am I going to calm her down? Yeah, I suppose I could text him. But it needs to be cool, calm, collected. No, I don't know where Relaxed is, I haven't seen her in months. Yeah, you're right, she probably did run off with Ability To Sleep, the skank. Ugh, I really need to get you guys all sorted out one of these days, you emotions really like to run amok, don't you?

Have I texted him yet? No, I haven't, take a chill pill... oh jeez, you're not going to leave me alone until I do, are you? Oh, you're not going to leave until he texts me back. You're a real bastard, Paranoia, you know that? Yeah, thanks for all this. Concentration On Work is going to be real pissed at you - yes, of course he still exists! Hey, that procrastination was all Romance's fault and you know it!

Stupid emotions. All up in my business.

Creative block

What sucks more than everything is to have creative block. Here I am, inside on a Friday night, and I have absolutely no good ideas.

See, it has been a long standing tradition of mine that no work can be done on a Friday night. It's the night to de-stress, to relax after the work week. This can present a problem when, like tonight, there is nothing to do - no parties to attend, no movies to watch, no one to just chill with. Generally, on nights like tonight, I turn my attentions to my interests - I blog, I write, I mess around with image editing, I do something interesting and cool so that I'm not just sitting around doing nothing.

So it pains me that I'm having crazy creative block right now. Even this post doesn't seem to have the normal flow, the normal adjectives and adverbs heaped on top of each other. I open up Blogger and stare at the blank screen, unable to come up with anything remotely witty, even anything remotely interesting or emotional or that I would want to talk about. The creativity is not there, for whatever reason. I can't think of anything I want to do.

And it annoys me. It annoys me that I have this free time where I know I'm not going to do any "real" work, and I can't spend it doing anything I want to. Heck, I even tried Minecraft, but I had to shut it down because I just couldn't put my heart into it.

It's writer's block times a million, because it covers more than just writing, it covers everything. There's nothing I want to do right now.

I guess I'll just waste my time playing inane flash games. Maybe inspiration will strike soon.

Big ol' jet airliner...

I'm already mentally packing my bags for a trip halfway across the country - I don't know if it can actually happen, I don't know if I can afford the plane fare, and I don't know if it's anything close to a good idea or even if it's what I really want.

But my bags are already packed.

Oh, the questions of a thousand dreams

Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young's "Carry On". That song just needs to be on permanent repeat for the next few days.

What's it saying to me right now? Who knows what's going to happen, you just got to do what's necessary and keep going no matter what.

Something I know, something that makes sense... but I just need to hear it beat into my head a few times.

Eight months is a long time. Parker's a great guy. Who knows what's going to happen? I don't. It's not worth beating myself up about it. There are so many damn "what ifs", it would take a supercomputer to process them all. (I'm such a nerd.)

Carry on. Love is coming. Love is coming to us all.

Welcome to My Life

This is a post I'd like to call "Welcome to My Life", which I hope will be a recurring type of post here. Pretty much it's just those random occurrences and conversations that make my life rather interesting, awkward, and unintentionally hilarious. Today's iteration is a little shorter than I'd like, but, for the record, two of these things happened in the past two days. My life is just that strange.

/*--------------------------*/

A conversation with my friend, who, for lack of a more creative and entertaining nickname, I'll refer to as "Mira". Honestly, though, the first thing that popped into my head was "M-Dawg", which probably tells you something about my brainwaves of late.
*EDIT* I'm actually going to call her "Miss Scarlett" or "Scarlett" for reasons that make some sense but that I don't feel like explaining.

Scarlett: Wait, is that the guy from last year? Why are you still Facebook friends with him?

Me: Because, if someone else is friends with him, the probability of them being a douchebag increases tenfold.

Scarlett: Ah. Clever.

/*--------------------------*/

You know someone's special when merely seeing them in a dining hall makes your heart race like you just had a close encounter with a rabid bobcat and your stomach starts doin' flips 'n shit.

/*--------------------------*/

Super O-Lube is one of the most unfortunate product names I've ever come across. It is also one of those things you shouldn't leave out in the open around college students if you want conversation to stay G rated.

Facebook non-chat is torture

Do you ever feel like screaming at someone "Hey, moron! Chat me on Facebook! I like talking to you and seeing your little profile pic in my sidebar with your green little "I'm online!" circle is absolute torture. Because, I can't chat you because I don't want to be clingy and chat you all the time. So chat me because I really want to talk to you more!"

Yeah, I haven't actually screamed that at someone. Just at my laptop screen. It's not accomplishing anything, believe it or not.

Just a mere card game? If only...

It's like I'm playing a card game. I only know half the rules, and the cards are covered in foreign symbols that I've never seen before. The other players are far more experienced, and expect everyone to play at their same level.

What should I do? Should I play brazenly? Or should I be cautious? Not playing is out of the question, for if you don't play you don't win. And who doesn't want to win?

There is only one thing. And that is determination to win... even if I have to make up my own rules.