Welcome to My Life

This is a post I'd like to call "Welcome to My Life", which I hope will be a recurring type of post here. Pretty much it's just those random occurrences and conversations that make my life rather interesting, awkward, and unintentionally hilarious. Today's iteration is a little shorter than I'd like, but, for the record, two of these things happened in the past two days. My life is just that strange.

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A conversation with my friend, who, for lack of a more creative and entertaining nickname, I'll refer to as "Mira". Honestly, though, the first thing that popped into my head was "M-Dawg", which probably tells you something about my brainwaves of late.
*EDIT* I'm actually going to call her "Miss Scarlett" or "Scarlett" for reasons that make some sense but that I don't feel like explaining.

Scarlett: Wait, is that the guy from last year? Why are you still Facebook friends with him?

Me: Because, if someone else is friends with him, the probability of them being a douchebag increases tenfold.

Scarlett: Ah. Clever.

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You know someone's special when merely seeing them in a dining hall makes your heart race like you just had a close encounter with a rabid bobcat and your stomach starts doin' flips 'n shit.

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Super O-Lube is one of the most unfortunate product names I've ever come across. It is also one of those things you shouldn't leave out in the open around college students if you want conversation to stay G rated.