Oh, whatever

First off, let me begin by saying that I must have some sort of neon sign hovering around me that says "Hello, I look like crap today. Please, guy I like, hang out with me for six hours." Yeah, no, really. Wearing generic t-shirt and baggy jeans, face looking like crap, hair probably looking disheveled - ugh.

Our conversations are deep, but I never leave them feeling any more certain about anything. In fact, it's almost certainly the opposite. I think he knows I like him, but I get the feeling he doesn't like me, or is in some sort of holding pattern. Or that he's interested, but not romantically...? Heck, I don't know.

And yes, I'm writing this pretty soon after he left because I feel like I need to commit my thoughts to electronic paper before they're muddled by sleep and dreams and other unrelated thoughts. Although, they're pretty muddled as it is - hello, 2:30am.

But I get these feelings for a number of reasons, all of which are too many to enumerate in this post - specifically because many of the reasons are either confusing, possibly misinterpreted, really too complicated to fully explain outside of my own mind, or a product of possible paranoia. I also like alliteration. We talked about alliteration. My life is pretty frickin' odd.

Probably a few days from now, I'll be second-guessing myself and my actions and what I said tonight (Oh, you should have said this, now he thinks you're a loser!) - it's a horrible talent of mine to overanalyze occurrences that cannot be changed. (Alliteration again! Man, I'm a pro in the wee hours). But now, all I can do is shrug and be confounded by life.

And sleep. I can do that too.

UPDATE 8:05am: Actually, apparently I can't sleep - working on like three hours of sleep because I decided to wake up at 6 and start thinking about him, Halloween, and how much work I have to get done. Yeah, I'm amazing.